What to Do When You Find Out You're Pregnant
What to Do When You Find Out You're Pregnant
You’ve been taking your prenatals, charting your ovulation, and doing astrological charts to figure out the best time to conceive. Or, you and your partner had decided that you would give up trying- it’s too much work, too stressful to continue to try. Or, you’ve just been skating along, focused on your work and other interests in your life, but something gives you this funny feeling you ought to check… no matter what your circumstance when you find out that you’re pregnant, it’s a big surprise, and there are a lot of feelings that come along with it! Some people are simply overjoyed, others cautious, others disappointed and worried. All of those feelings are normal. Finding out that you’re pregnant means that, in one way or another, your life is about to change and that’s a really big deal.
We’ve compiled a list of what to do when you find out you’re pregnant, from a midwifery point of view. This won’t be everything for everyone, but it will help you get started when you find out you’re pregnant.
Take another test or confirm your pregnancy in some other way. It might be enough for you to take a pregnancy test for now, or you might want confirmation in an office. If you’re not sure when your last menstrual period (LMP) was, it’s a good idea to go and have an early dating ultrasound as soon as you can so that your pregnancy can be dated. Pregnancies are not as accurately dated after 14 weeks, so the gold standard is to have a dating ultrasound in first trimester.
Even if you don’t want an early ultrasound to check for dating and to make sure that things are generally healthy with the pregnancy, you might still consider having a blood draw for a hormone called Human Chorionic Gondadotropin (HCG). Checking your quantitative blood hCG will tell you, within a window, how far along you are and confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant. It can also alert you early on to a couple of different complications of pregnancy. When you first see your midwife or other maternity care provider, they will likely want to confirm your pregnancy if it’s not confirmed already or if there’s any question. That brings us to our next point!
2. Get started in midwifery care! It’s never too early to start seeing a midwife, even if you just found out. You can reach out to midwives in your area and make an appointment for a consult, during which you can talk about their particular practice. We love to meet with people as soon as they’re ready so we can discuss our practice model and get started caring for them. At the initial prenatal appointment, we usually do labs, review each client’s health history, and start making recommendations to maximize wellness for each client. If you’re experiencing severe nausea and vomiting of first trimester, like so many people do, we can start caring for you and offering you the treatments and lifestyle modifications that you’ll become familiar with over our time together.
3. Start caring for yourself! If you haven’t already, especially if your pregnancy was not planned, this is a great time to begin to think carefully about what you’re eating, drinking, and doing with your body while you are pregnant. Prenatal vitamins can be a great way to go, but so can eating mindfully and in a way that makes you feel good. Key in on your protein intake, drink half your body weight in ounces, and get lots of good sleep. A lot of the common complaints of pregnancy, including those of first trimester, have to do with people simply not having their nutritional and physical needs met. Your midwife can talk more with you about what that means for you, but before you meet with anyone at all, you can take care of yourself, eat food that nourishes you, and get into a movement pattern that makes you feel great in your body.
4. Start gathering information! Maybe you want to join a pregnancy app, or start listening to podcasts like The Homebirth Midwife Podcast, or creative project. It can be so much fun to start getting information and thinking about what decisions you’ll make for yourself in terms of healthcare as you go through the experience of pregnancy and, eventually, giving birth.
5. Document your pregnancy! No matter what child this is for you, no matter how many you’ll have or what life will bring you, this pregnancy is unique. If you can, find a simple way to reflect and contemplate the changes you’re undergoing. And remember to honor every aspect of how you’re feeling. Some days you might feel really sad that you’re pregnant as you struggle to know how to integrate your new role with friends and family that don’t understand or relate. Other days you might feel really anxious that something will happen that threatens the health of you or your baby. Other days, you might be ecstatic and joyfully awaiting the birth of this new little person. All those experiences are a normal part of the pregnancy journey, and there’s room to honor all of them. Keeping a journal or documenting your pregnancy in some other way can help you to integrate all the experiences you’re having.
6. Start working on a pre-authorization or in-network exception if your plan doesn’t cover midwifery. Many insurance plans do cover midwifery services and home birth, but not all. You can talk with your midwife and see if they work with a billing service to figure out what you can expect in terms of coverage. Home births are significantly less expensive than hospital births, so if you are low-risk and healthy, you can save a lot of money by using a midwife. You can save even more money if your insurance can write what’s called a gap exception or in-network plan exception, which means that insurance will pay an out-of-network midwife at an in-network rate. Either way you cut it, having a baby costs some money, but if you choose midwifery and keep things simple and healthy, it doesn’t need to break the bank.
7. When you’re ready, tell your friends and family! A good general rule to think about is: who would you want by your side if your pregnancy were to end in a loss? If there’s someone you would want in your inner circle, then that’s who you want to tell as soon as you’re pregnant. For many people, it feels good to wait until second trimester or even after the 20 week anatomy scan to ensure that their pregnancy is healthy, normal, and likely to continue before going public. Pregnancy can have so many outcomes, some of which are really hard and private. It’s a reality that thinking about breaking the news can also mean thinking about how it would be for you if there were hard news down the road, and who you would want involved in that.
8. Get an exercise routine down. The thing about labor is that it’s called that for a reason- it’s really hard work! We see over and over again in our practice that people who regularly move their bodies during their pregnancy have less complicated labors and births. That doesn’t mean that moving will completely prevent any complication of pregnancy, but it does mean that you lower your chance of hard outcomes by moving in a way that feels good and healthy to you. How you choose to do that is completely individual and up to you- maybe you like to dance. Do Zumba! Maybe it’s running, hiking, rafting, spin- the choices are pretty much endless! If you aren’t sure if a particular activity is safe in pregnancy, you can talk to your midwife or maternity care provider about that and find an exercise routine that’s right for you.
9. Consult with your midwives about any medications you’re taking and whether it’s advisable to continue to take them in pregnancy. Midwifery licensure varies state by state, and some midwives will refer you to a primary care provider for management of your medications. You’ll want to disclose everything you take to your midwives so they can help you make sure you’re doing what’s safest and what you feel most comfortable with in your pregnancy.
10. Buy yourself those maternity pants! For real. There is not a time it’s too early- as anyone in first trimester will tell you, bloating and cramping is real, even before your uterus is growing and your belly pops out. Give yourself the gift of switching to maternity pants as soon as you want to allow for more comfort and decreased nausea. We promise, you will not regret it!
11. Start a baby registry and include a few non-traditional items on it: are you thinking about a doula but not sure if you can afford the doula fee? Sure you can! If you ask friends and families to go in on a doula fee, rather than yet another ironic onesie from your sister-in-law, you’ll be setting yourself up for greater success in labor and in having the birth you want. You can also ask people to gift you Online Childbirth Education, placenta encapsulation, or prenatal massage. Having things to get ready for the baby is important, yes, but so is self-care while you’re pregnant and giving birth.
12. Make a list of everything you want to do before the baby is born, and start ticking it off. It’s so satisfying to have a checklist to use as you go through your pregnancy! We’ve compiled a “Roadmap to a Natural Birth” that subscribers to our emails get- sign up for our email list (bottom of the page) and get the checklist as well as regular updates to your inbox. We’ll guide you through each step of the way!
Looking Ahead: What to Do When You Find Out You're Pregnant
The first trimester is all about getting through it. Lots of people feel fatigued, nauseated, and overwhelmed during the first 12-14 weeks of their pregnancy. You might not have announced to your friends and family yet, and you have a secret that, for the time being, might be making you feel pretty lousy. One thing that can help is to look forward- when you get to second trimester, you’ll probably have more energy and you’ll be sharing about your pregnancy with more people. Your midwives will guide you through each step of the pregnancy, step by step, and help you know what to do when you’ve moved past the “What do I do when I find out I’m pregnant” phase and into the phase of “Okay, I’m pregnant! And excited! What now?” That exciting phase is coming, we promise. Just follow these steps until then!
If you’re looking for midwives in the Portland OR area, contact us and schedule a free consultation. We would love to hear from you and see if it would be a good fit. Wishing you all the best!
